Differences in the Way Men and Women Perceive Love

The most critical ingredient in making relationships work is, of course, communication. An important element in communication is to make an effort to understand who the person is with whom we are trying to communicate, and where he or she is coming from. Very often men and women hurt each other deeply and pull apart from one another because they don’t understand that men and women perceive the meaning of love and intimacy in vastly different ways. As humans, we always tend to judge the rightness and sanity of the world by who we are and where we are. But of course, the fact is you are the only person who truly can know where you are. If you are a female, you perceive love and intimacy in a different way than a man does, and vice versa. Once we understand that we as individuals perceive love and intimacy in a much different manner than our partners do — once we understand that our perceptions are different and our skills are different from our spouses’ — then we can reduce to a great extent the pain that we feel. It does not mean that we won’t have to change or make some decisions, but it does mean that we will be able to stop blaming our spouses for being this or that kind of a person. Understanding these differences will help to make our expectations of the other person more realistic, and will improve our ability to communicate our feelings and thoughts to each other.